embracing the hard

Of late I have been a student of the "hard". Intentionally. Not a " getting by, putting up with hard" type of student.
An embracer of" hard " student.

See, I've been realizing that I tend to be a "feather the nest" make everything all better type of mama and person. I lean toward how can we nurture and ease the way for each other?
I enjoy creating an oasis in our home for my peeps to fall into, away from all the tough stuff.

But I've come to feel another part of my soul need growing. That I was a bit unbalanced.

A songwriter's comments drew me into thinking of the mysticalness of that place where it's just hard and there's nothing for it but to walk into it, face it, feel it and refuse to allow doubt and fear to prevail but to believe that God will be there even in the dark and that on the other side,every time He will be there. That there will always be good beckoning.
Because for the Christian even death has something bright beyond.

I am loving this imagery, even as we are laid out in the midst of "hard". Even as we sweat through, we can have the comforting image of our God faithfully holding out His hands,with good plans for us in spite of what it could look like.Somehow it makes doing hard so much more do-able.
Oh,and finding little surprises from Him in unexpected moments. Trailmarkers if you will.

But stories about them are for another day!
Blessings!

~Pilgrimama

rummagings and good finds in the paperless journals..

This week has been busy. I am trying to catch myself when I'm being a "Martha" instead of a "Mary". I'm scribbling in my paper journal instead of here. Talking my way through the bugs in my schedule, searching for any wrong paradigms that might be present.
But tonight I was digging through the online journal of a lady who has some valuable lessons she's learned,learning and sharing with the rest of us.

Look for the "Put the phone down and no one will get hurt" graphic on the linked page and read the accompanying post.

The concerns she has are so similar to my own. Because of these concerns I am here on these pages only when I choose to be. (At least generally speaking..) Face time with real humans,especially with those in our own households is invaluable.

No blog of mine should come in at first place for my time...
Enough.
Go read!

~pilgrimama

they're heading off...

Well,it's happened. I always thought it would happen. I planned for it.
But still I'm not sure I'm ready for it.

Jess is reading chapter books!
 Sigh!
He's off exploring in the world of the printed page without me!

Heretofore I have always accompanied him.
Now he's gone alone.
Getting ideas,learning stuff without me.
It may seem overly dramatic but this feels BIG.

Alex came back from his second outing to a farm this week. His enduring interest these days is in being a farmer. Next week he is scheduled to go on a field trip to yet another farm.
There he goes, pursuing valuable lessons, gleaning information as he walks the road of Life. The life that I will most likely not always be around to be involved in or see. Wow!

And while independence is still a long way off, I feel the ebb and flow of Waves pulling away from shore. Lord willing, the waves that pull these beautiful sons keep bringing them back in to see me often...

                             ~pilgrimama

thoughts on "weaving"

I'm on the quiet 1st floor, with my Squirrel at my side. The shelves are lined with books.
Some of them old,maybe full of older tales. Some of them newer,shiny.
Off to my right a teacher talks to his students. His teacherly voice tells of things like stocks and bonds.
I search for books with large print for my oldest child.
I find thick books with enough story to reach for a while. Yum.
Beyond the books I find other things,things to touch and play with, a box of rock specimens.
This quietness, this abundance of all kinds of materials inspires me. Probably the freedom inspires me too.
I'd love to go to a dream school, where I could read, pop in on classes when it corresponded with my studies,go exploring, assemble a curiosity cabinet........
Probably what I'm really savoring also, is all that quiet  :).

Life's not really like that for me, not like that university library I was sitting in.
It's noisy, with lots of structures to help reign in  the mass of human energy held here in this small space.

But,maybe,maybe there still is/can be a similarity to my dream learning space.

We already do lots of sitting around and learning from people who know, carving,crocheting,music,bicycle repair.
We sit around and read.

Maybe the biggest ingredient I'm missing is the quiet. Heh!

And this year I am being more intentional to quietly track learning trails and compile markers on the trails. Markers that say we were here, we have touched this information, it is being woven into our learning weaving.

I hope I'm raising some happy weavers, interested in these pieces of art they're creating, not some factory drudges putting in their time......

~pilgrimama

happy learning report

I am refreshed this morning. Very thankful for that! Dealing with the weekly laundry and getting it all put away was hard but it's sooo worth it! (well there's a bit left in the dryer but i shall deal with that quickly) Not having to think about laundry every day is huge for me.
Changing over to doing laundry in the beginning of the week has been a fairly recent change but pretty much a habit now and I wouldn't change it! So nice to have Laundry Free days! I figured if Grandma had a laundry day so could I! Well, my version is more than 1 day exactly but still....


The children have started Physical Education classes at a local university. Three of the children that is. I have to work really hard at coordinating it all but I think it's a really good thing for them!

We have finished our first Boxcar Children book for this season and Jess is working on his first Magic Treehouse book as silent reading.

Math = a couple math sheets to ease in. And suddenly the boys know how to skip count by hundreds !  I just asked Jess to skip count by 2's and he's doing it! I needn't have worried!

I bought a kids theater game and we had fun playing yesterday,especially the girls as it was geared for younger children.

Chess club for the boys tomorrow! Our learning is humming a happy tune!

May your learning times be happy today as well!

                                 ~pilgrimama

the hostess with the "leastest"?

So,I have a question.
In this country where many of us reside,we seem to have this thing. This thing that our culture grooms,ads and magazines reinforce and of course "The Liar" loves to bring to our attention.

About how more is better,bigger is better etc. etc.More stuff=happiness.

I deeply believe our culture could be so much happier if we'd quit buying into The Lie. Literally buying into it. But maybe that revelation is for the Spirit to reveal alone. I'm not perfect,far from it. But on a very daily level Lee and I have learned so much about simplicity. Living in Central America on a teeny budget, living in shared spaces, living in housing that was not ideal, having large bills to pay have been wonderful tools in shaping the new lifestyle that's emerging for our family.
Less is often More.
Less toys available on a regular basis,making us all frustrated with trying to tidy,thus More Time.
Less furniture means having More available Space thus meaning we don't need as large of a home.

Less books of poor quality=More Shelving for quality pieces.

The list goes on.

What if?
What if instead of competing for "the mostest" our country or we as individuals would compete for the "leastest"?
How would life look for many of us then?

I don't think I've had a chance to cover all the questions saying something like this might generate nor do I have time to cover them this morning but wanted to throw this thought out before I forget.

(this post inspired by ongoing "home editing" around here.)

~pilgrimama

an adventure in the forest

Yesterday we went on an adventure to the forest.

We went in a caravan of friends.

• It went something like this.
• Arrive,get everyone settled by the water.
• Gather food around the fire pit.
• Children,(guess what?) start feeling hungry.
• Feed children p,b and j or pb and "honey"sandwiches. Or hardboiled eggs, or pesto and tomato sandwiches etc.Share food all around.
• Play in water some more.
• Heat rice dish over fire.
• eat some more
• children play around and babies are snuggled into the double stroller for naps
• Go walking to pick berries.
• Try to keep small people out of poison ivy while picking berries.
• Berries are abundant!
• Get POURED on and everyone is all wet and cold.
• Remember campsite has food and picnic blankets and all kinds of stuff all out and getting wet!
• go back to camp and clean,clean,clean! Feed people again!
• play in water a bit more and help small people with bathroom needs
• pack up cars and grownups eat dark chocolate for sustenance
• little ones eat fruit leathers and bars and eventually fall asleep
• my pal and I listen to Raffi and search out "Baby Beluga" and sing it together.We are such moms!
• Get home. Boys rush to get ready for an outing with neighbor and Chelsea has come down with a fever.
• Good,good times!

Now to wash all that wet clothing today!
~pilgrimama

a list re: the last couple weeks or so...

In the past two weeks or so:

• helped 3 loved ones get on planes and fly far away
• had lots of guests in and out
• have one visiting cat staying here
• worked most days out of the house for short periods-hopefully this is almost over!
• gotten sunburned
• taken the crew to the pool on half price day
• met up with friends!
• helped the children set up two times with a lemonade stand
• visited some friends' church and met interesting people
• gone to a farm and worked in the art room making pottery
• hosted a swap party and potluck dinner
• finished a large poster on the fruit of the Spirit
• taken the children to hear the Declaration of Independence read on the Fourth of July as a history lesson
• figured out new stuff all by my lonesome!
• taken 3 of the children to a celebration at our local co-op
• laundry
• and more.....

If I do say so myself,this list is not too shabby.
Today I took Squirrelgirl to do errands while the oldest three were gone to the woods with friends.
We were getting hungry and I thought about being my usual,practical save-money self and then decided to have a little date with my tyke.

We went to a new Carribean restaurant I have long wanted to visit.
And ordered a "batido". And an empanada.

All was well until Squirrelgirl spilled our "batido" everywhere!

Alls well that ends well, as the lady sweetly helped me clean up the mess.

Which leads me to the present, and lots of housework and an iced coffee...

Happy Wednesday!

o the things that we saw on mulberry block!

Tonight, I took my girls for an evening stroll.
We pretty much went around the block.
On the way we ate big,fat mulberries and sugar snap peas.
We met an elder from our church.
We spoke to a neighbor about her tiny dog.
We saw the neighborhood children playing basketball.

Then we came back to our house and I let Squirrelgirl out of her stroller.
She climbed into the mulberry tree.
I nagged at the cat,who had fallen into my bad graces by catching a duckling.
He didn't seem to understand my grumpiness....

Lee came home.
Chelsea ran to see him!

Soon we all went back inside.
I ate pasta with homemade pesto.

So,so much to see and do without going far from home!
...................................................

The boys left for camp this morning.
It's their second year.
It sure is quiet without them!

Squirrelgirl provided plenty to keep me busy though. She ate a potentially toxic substance which set me on a frenzy of phone calls and the like.
All seems to be well but that was not fun!

Hopefully,tomorrow will be generally calm....


All in a mother's day!
May your evening be filled with encouragment!

~pilgrimama

i saw a rainbow last night..

I saw a rainbow last night.
And I stood and looked in awe and thought of the unchangingness and faithfulness of God.
Many years after Noah, and the rainbow still comes.
And I know that some,looking up see science where I saw God.
And I think of this song I saw on Pandora the other day-about being a fool for You.
And I think I am ok with being called a fool too.

(Do you think heaven has a room painted like a rainbow? )
.....................................*********************.................................................


the children are all signed up for the summer reading games at the library.
who would have guessed that it would get children reading this way?
this is the first year i am not doing lots of reading to little people,at least not all of them.
and that makes me happy!
and i adore seeing the reading happen.
i grew up a bookworm afterall.....
*******************************************************************
We have a deck again!
Our fridge quit working a few weeks ago. Just before I left on a trip.
Our church friends gave us another.
Lee switched them around while I was gone. But the old fridge stayed on the deck. Yuck!
Last night it finally was removed.
Yay!
********
******************************************************************
Coming up this week-my sister is visiting from the boonies of Latin America,where she works in a health clinic right now.
Yay!
May your Sunday be sweet.
                                                      ~pilgrimama

three day weekend

So we had a full three day weekend! How about you?

Yesterday, our last full day of vacay, we went hiking. We drove wrong once, didn't find the trail we wanted next, scoped out another trail that was way long, and finally settled on a 4 mile trail.
We encountered lots of poison ivy and lots of steep windy trail.
Squirrelgirl is really into caterpillars and she got her sweet fill of them!
We turned back when she needed carrying-we headed out much later than we'd hoped and we are having hot weather again so carrying a 3 and a halfish child was not our idea of fun!
Plus we were hungry.
And Lee needed to check on his bee project.

We went to the park and grilled our hot dogs and drank large amounts of oj.

I came home and lay near the fan and took a nap.

Sorting and packing winter clothes, folding laundry, washing dishes occupied my spare minutes.

I topped it off with a spoonfull of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food.

Lee and I were exhausted!
                                            ~pilgrimama

describing an evening

Tonight Lee and I went to dinner at the community center.
It was A Feast!
Meatloaf,cucumber salad,mashed potatoes,warm rolls,spaghetti and fried pies for dessert.

Then I helped clean up and we lounged outside visiting.
Until the volleyball started.
We girls went off and stopped by friends on the way home for a bit of girl time.
Then some reading, bedtime rituals like praying and hugging.
Now it's me,the computer and the small Squirrel.

Hope everyone we love had a growthfilled day. May you always grow in the Spirit of our Lord Jesus!

                                                       ~pilgrimama

back from women's retreat!



purse made in Africa by women in the Watoto ministry

 This past weekend (basically two days and two nights!) I went on retreat with many of the women from our church family. It was amazing and so worth it. Many thanks to the organizers of this event!
So much learning, sharing, and pure beauty!

          A verse from one of the songs we were gifted :

Dark are the branches reaching for light
High is the path of the hawk in its flight
Turning and gliding greeting the night
Why do we hunger for beauty?

 Wish I could freely share more,but I'm not sure of the copyright stuff here soooo- click on the link!
The song title is Why Do We Hunger for Beauty by Jim Croegaert.
This Youtube video doesn't have the whole song but there are some that do....
This was so beautiful as we studied both the pain we bring to Jesus and the Beauty of who He is as our theme was Hope and Despair.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have been drinking chapparral tea for health's sake. This stuff is bitter!
 The town now has flowers in abundance! Our backyard has so many violets!
Library Day for us today!
Happy Thursday!
                                                         ~pilgrimama

home learning and weekend plans

The way I blog is kind of strange sometimes, at least unconventional.
Start post option,go check stove, select picture, go use restroom,open curtain for our huge plant that resides by the bathroom window, come back, start post, and soon I will probably go haul some wood for the fire.
Then I might go put in a load of overdue laundry.
But no matter, that way thoughts can percolate in my head while I putter..

Sometimes I am a little confused by my life. It helps when I tell myself that I am actually living in a school. Our house is a school. With lots of projects going on. So it's going to look different than the average home.
Deep breaths,mama,deep breaths.
The stuff of it all can be overwhelming.

My girls just got done with a wet-felting project using wool yarn scraps.
Then a Veggie-Tales book appeared on the table.
Then beautiful wooden puzzles came off the shelf.
There are still two games out from the last round of playing. The shelf is high and I am the one who puts them away. So fine,you say, do it!
But what about the small stack of laundry sitting on the chair to be put away, the dresser that arrived that needs placing, the fridge shelves that need wiping down NOW!
i WANT A MAID!
Heh!
Back again. A load of laundry going.
Another armload in soak.
Timer set! Refrigerator here I come! And I even put the games away!
Whew! Finally back again! The fridge got a lick and a promise, I went to a church booksale downtown, ate a burger with a friend,and got some other important household work done.
Our boys have a sleepover, and Lee and I have plans to hang out after our girls are snugged off in bed.
What are your weekend night plans?
And what did you accomplish?
(If you're even reading anymore. This post is not necessarily interesting unto anyone except yours truly!)

                            Happy Weekend!
                     ~Pilgrimama

bread and presidents and snow~

Today: Snow all around. "Like Narnia" Jess says.
Snow and sun meet. Snow is of the heavy variety. Children go out to play and roll in snow. Return to small, upstairs abode. Mother strongly advises against undressing in the house. Has everyone undress on stairs. Stairs was very WET.

We worked on a large poster we are making of the presidents of the USA. I found an old book on the presidency in the thrift store and we are cutting out pictures of the presidents.
Yeah we could buy one, but would that be as much fun?
Recently we were playing Dinner Games and realized the presidential knowledge in these here parts was baaaaad!
So I searched out resources and got to work. Soon along came the gang. Wanting to help.

Time: late,late o'clock. I just put a batch of oatmeal bread to rest and rise on the counter. Recipe from More Home Cooking, A Writer Returns to the Kitchen by Laurie Colwin.

Must hit sack. I have a deadline to have a handmade journal ready by tomorrow afternoon and I should do it early in the morning.
                                                                    ~humming feelings,
                                                                        Pilgrimama

learning amidst it all

I can say that this New Year has been mostly issues with sicknesses of one kind or another. Just now it's sinus issues.
Lee recently broke a sinus infection with really spicy Thai food.

He says he will get me some if I'm still sick by the weekend. I do not want to be sick on the weekend.
So I have been sleeping in because of low energy. The children have been getting up to play school in the livingroom. They're quite peaceful and really practicing great skills which is a major plus ( instead of wrestling,ugh) so I feel a bit better about the lost morning time while I'm resting late...
This morning we all hung out and wrote letters at the dining room table. I found a pack of varied stationary while I was thrifting the other day and set that out, as well as our rainbow mug with writing implements in it. And I started writing myself and announced we'd be writing to a penpal today. And they all gathered 'round!
Actually, playing school all started with a pack of chalk I picked up the other day, intending to use in my sewing suitcase. Well, some of it got into the hands of the small people and much "school" play has happened.

We had company over last night so I am slowly working on the left dishes right now. Jess is feeling sick so he is in his room, listening to music and resting. Alex is sewing some project he dreamed up in his head and the girls are playing around and now watching a movie.
There's a wierd rain falling, looks suspiciously like freezing rain. The house is cozy and Lee just brought us a bunch of yogurt.
I thinkI shall finish my tea and resume some household puttering...
                                                                  ~         happiness,
                                                                           Pilgrimama

re: education outside the box

To Julia Charlotte,
I've been thinking today that perhaps one of the bigger challenges to the American family and community is the ability to use transportation to go here,there and everywhere, thereby leading us to participate in a pace of life that is not truly sustainable or healthful for a strong family and church/community life.
Supposing I had the many greenbacks to afford it I could enroll the children in all manner of enriching classes and proceed to run here and there keeping them and me frightfully busy and supposedly better for all our trouble.
Since I do not have the aforementioned generous supply of greenbacks nor the second vehicle to allow me to do this, I have proceeded to find, within my church and friend community, a far more organic way of training for my brood. One friend teaches them music and singing and we trade him lunch and gifts and on occasion a check. We all like this arrangement. He's young and single and seems to like hanging out with a family sometimes, we like his company and benefit from his talents.
Another friend teaches our boys bicycle repair. (Actually the music teacher also is teaching road biking skills to our children.) The bike repairing friend wants to do a simple version of Boy Scouts with the boys also. A grandmother without many grandchildren teaches Bible stories and crafts. One friend is willing to come do some drama lessons. Art may be in the works too.
And instead of running around to kiddie sport team events, our boys have adult mentors that play pick-up games with them and oftentimes children and adults from households that have extra needs.Our boys play hard and thrive in these unconventional setups and pose the question of the need for many of the somewhat contrived classes and teams that our culture has come to think of as needful and normal. And we do most of this using little gas and travel time for anyone involved. Green and community enriching, no?
Pilgrimama

re: papermaking

dipping sections of screen into a bucket of slurryCovering the sections with plastic wrap....

rolling it out to a somewhat even level, heh...

here are some of the sheets drying in the sun

We used directions from this book, Earth Book for Kids.

To : Julia Charlotte,

Recently we tried our hand at papermaking. The results were lovely pieces of paper that are fun to use. We have seen seed embedded paper bookmarks that can be given as gifts.

We may try our hand at that next....!

During the process of papermaking it may seem a bit messy but it is really worth the energy expended! At least to me.

We enjoy making our own cards,probably quite ameturishly but at least we shoot for handmade, one (or two) of a kind cards.

I am thinking squares of homemade paper layered over natural looking cardstock could be quite lovely.

Also, maybe next time we could add bits of colored tissue paper to the slurry for a colorful effect?

What are your thoughts?

Pilgrimama

re:kitchen and table letter

Dear Julia Charlotte, Way too much happens around here to record it all. So many people, so many moments of wonder. Here are some kitchenish pictures I've taken of late....
making Harvard Beets with fresh squeezed orange juice....

I find all kinds of creations made from word magnets these days..

My dining table-today.

My table from another angle....

making Harvard beets...

beets...

We've served quite a lot of this almost cheeseless pizza. We like to use up what we've got and not run to the store for ingredients we don't have. Thus pizza made with just a bit of Parmesan grated on top.

The children and I are reading through Proverbs at breakfast time. One chapter a breakfast.

(I skip the extreme details about adulterous women and their wiles. Somehow that's difficult, especially that time of the day!)

I captured my cousin this weekend and we made Cinnamon Pecan coffeecakes. I've also made Cinnamon Ribbon banana bread to share with friends and neighbors.(We're about out of cinnamon!)

And last but not least,here's something cool I glued up yesterday evening on my kitchen countertop,just in time for a surprise birthday party. My candle decoration!(Look on the very bottom of the linked page. And give it a try. )

Happy creating!

Pilgrimama

projects!

Making art..

This book is good for a project a day type thing for almost five year olds. Probably five year olds too. We're almost there!

What to do with an almost two year old that is busy,busy,busy? This worked for me today.

Happy Saturday!

In His Love,

Pilgrimama