laughter as well as tears

After the flu finishes taking its course through our home, maybe then we can grasp this new start,this new time in the life of our family.
Strange the way you don't see things coming.
Here we'd thought this year was so full already.
We hadn't figured in Lee's father dying.
Nor the long,long trips as we said our good-byes and laid him to rest.

And all the complex things of the soul and our family's story that are too private to put out there but have an effect on us, leaving us a little quieter than usual, mulling and praying and yet believing in our deepest parts that our Abba Father loves us and our story has good chapters ahead!
After the weeks of uncertainty, the waiting for the phone to ring, the last times at the bedside, the burying of ones spouse's last parent,the long trips with a packed minivan and a fussy baby it's all over.

And then we caught the flu when we returned home the last time.
It took some of us hard.
But I think it's a good thing perhaps,giving us extra days to process and then step back into everyday life the better for all of it.

Dragonbaby is nearing 3 months old now. I can't really remember anymore what it was like to have four children.  So I guess I am officially a mother of five children, a large family they say.
I have made it somehow through the rough first months.
Hurrah!
And though the baby seems to be starting the teething process and my hair is doing a post partum fallout in a big way it's mixed with good stuff like  a baby having its first real laughing fit over his big sister's dancing show.

And I rejoice in the tender mercies of Our Father.
He created laughter as well as tears.

~pilgrimama

a love letter to dragonbaby

Dragonbaby,you are beautiful. You arrived here on a bright summer morning,after a few intense hours of work on Mama's part.
Now you're a few weeks old and we're still in love. More in love!
We love your huge smiles in your sleep, the way you wave your arms and get lonely if we leave you in your seat too long and want cuddles.
May you stay a person who knows the value of love forever!
We love you!
~Mama

greetings from the homestead!

Hello, hello!
I am back!

I am writing from our new little homestead!
This was the other "surprise" in the works when I last was posting!
And it has actually come true!

It has been an incredibly wild and busy season of life!
I think this is why New Year is always a bit challenging for me- you never know what the new year will hold!

I am starting to shift attention though.
To the impending arrival of "Dragonbaby" as he/she is known around these parts.
This blog was started on the eve of "Squirrelgirl's" arrival and here we are close to 5 years later!
Enter "DRAGONBABY"!

There is way too much to write about and I'm far too busy to sit and write much.
But I am so happy to be back in this space and starting to feel a teeny bit settled again.

Hope to post more regularly once more!
 CHEERS!
~PILGRIMAMA

rhythm off..grateful list

Rhythm. That's what I'm thinking about.
And the lack of it.
I am a girl who really likes a basic rhythm in life. I can handle trips somewhat well and other such disruptions. But it's the things like moving or the new year starting that mess with me.
It's digging in the deep parts of me and moving me into change and risk and I tend toward safe and predictable.

We are in the midst of major transition right now.
Poised to leap into a new way of life on numerous levels.
I struggle to walk in faith.
Fear of unknown things stalks.
Faith is sustaining me though. Praise God!

I am really, really grateful for our church family and our wider circle of friends in this area.
I am grateful that we are not moving far away.
I am grateful I get to keep treasured friendships and brothers and sisters in the Lord close at hand.
I know life sometimes calls us to sojourn away from the known as we serve our God, but for the here and now and forseeable future I am glad to stay close to "home".Even if I'm a Pilgrim passing through!

I am thankful my mom can be here helping me care for the seemingly gazillion details to be tied up in our home here in town.
I am thankful Lee is able to navigate the hoop jumping of another part of our new life plans, as yet undisclosed.
 I am thankful for friends that do things like pick up the children and sweep them off for a  tea party or the family who brought us a great big dinner one night and all the rest who extend offers and help!

Life is challenging at the moment but good.
Wishing you a blessed Wednesday!
~pilgrimama

packing away winter....

I am packing away the winter clothes now.Today, April 16.
I think it's warm enough and will mostly stay warm from now on!
So that's pretty exciting!

The children are working on fitness testing this week at Phys. Ed. Class.
I am pleased with the scores!
Is that boasting:)

Our go-to store for miscellaneous supplies had lots of Arizona brand drinks in various flavors in the fridge today. I splurged on Mucho Mango! Mucho good!

How is your Monday?

~pilgrimama

some reading for expectant moms....

If the thought of maternity clothes makes you nervous, you'd like to know how it feels to be approaching The Due Date, or the first week after the little person arrives, go to this compilation and get some thoughts from a variety of bloggers.
Sometimes it's those small details that matter,friends!

From Me, now off to do things baby and pregnancy unrelated so as not to excite emotions such as excitement or worse yet worry. Worrying is bad,bad I tell you.

love,
~pilgrimama

in plain sight

Out walking this morning I was praying along and suddenly I realized the beauty of a bird in song close by.
And I started to look around. And notice.
All the signs of our Father right there in plain sight.
Even in a world that is fraught with a Tempter that roams around looking to create havoc and disaster there are strong clues that there is a faithful Creator.

There are signs of Him in the new leaves of Spring, the beautiful robin, the moon and sun, green grass and so much more.
And I think all of this has been said before and so much more eloquently.
Still, I am glad.


Happy Tuesday!!!!!!!!
~pilgrimama

four leaf clover and miscellany

i found a four leaf clover on Sunday. i've looked all my life for the elusive four-leaf.
guys, i was excited!
maybe it was because i'd just stopped to help a worm off the sidewalk....:)

the packing continues! we are editing here,we are! it's like putting a giant puzzle together!

today is Egypt day for our homeschool co-op!
i've been up crash coursing through some egyptian material. i think everything will be fine!:)

HAPPY FRIDAY!

~pilgrimama

gentle, sleepy day

I guess today is a rather gentle,sleepy day with little buzzing in my head feeling urgent to get out.
It's been filled with simple things like watching my youngest three putting lots of water in a large Rubbermaid tote,setting a kid-sized chair inside the tote, and then sitting in said tote filled with cold water.
A good way to cool down.

Making veggie and cheese sandwiches for the children.

Being happy that there is a clean stack of dishtowels ready for use and that Lee's washcloths are clean and ready to fill his basket.(I got him a nice basket and his own washcloths for Love Day so he can't say there aren't ever clean washcloths again..)

Making minestrone with a bag of white beans we were given.
This morning we were given lots more white beans from someone else who had come into an abundance.( I think this is how God looks after the wild out of control of the large family when the numbers of making ends meet don't logically make sense. He provides the beans. (:    )

Glad and thankful I do not have a headache today.

Have a wonderful rest-of-Wednesday!

~pilgrimama

strawberry stuff and flowers

The weather is warm today. It was warm when we woke up or at least close.
I'd like to think we have some cold weather still in store.
It kind of feels like we didn't have a proper winter this year.
 The children had a water balloon fight  in honor of the warmth.
Now they are making some sort of drink in the blender.

Here's a refreshing drink for the warmer days ahead:

Strawberry Stuff

• a handful of frozen strawberries
• water, maybe three cups
• sweetener to taste
• Blend or puree in blender
• Done!

Yum!

Oh, yesterday I forgot to mention the flowering forsythia!
And the pink flowering bush in the yard.
And the tree with white flowers next door.
Flowers all over the place.
Disturbing! Disturbingly beautiful tho!

Happy Tuesday!
~pilgrimama

a monday list

• The daffodils are blooming like mad.
• I have gotten a tote for our camping gear and am planning to organize our things.Anyone else preparing for the upcoming season?
• Jess starts soccer practice tonight!
• Today I was the late mom to pick up my offspring at P.E. class. We have this awesome thrift shop in town which sells lots of awesome stuff but the service tends to be on the slooow side. Well, I knew that when I went there to shop...! Should have planned better!
• Yesterday, I trimmed off Squirrelgirl's lovely locks. Maybe for only the second time in her life?
• I better prep the stirfry for dinner before long.....

And there is my Monday List!

What are you doing today?
~pilgrimama

the breakfast list and two portions

snuggly sisters

So about the time a mama's first cup of coffee is had, the voices come.
Those that say that well-known phrase: "I'm hungry!"
 And because we all probably know the urgency of that, here's my breakfast list for you!

• oatmeal with toppings like seeds or raisins or mini chocolate chips
• scrambled eggs with cheese and maybe toast
• breakfast burritos
• fried potatos with ketchup and eggs
• plain yogurt and fruit smoothies
• cornmeal mush, milk and honey
• "soft" eggs and toast
• baked oatmeal and fruit
• "creamed eggs"
• "gallo pinto" eggs, and coffee
• pancakes(can have fruit or pumpkin added)
• skillet granola
• french toast

You're welcome.
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We've had the special occasion to contract the flu and the pink-eye this week.
Well, at least some of us.

Squirrelgirl on contemplating awakening all "fevery" and yucky:
"Maybe it's because I had two portions of ice cream last night..."

Happy Saturday!
~pilgrimama

tracking the newness....

Posting right now feels like I'm tracking the days,these days of change and newness on the horizon.
The weather hints of Spring soon to be here.
The house shows signs of unsettled.
Boxes are piled on one side of the livingroom.
The rug's rolled up.
Things are getting thrown away,set aside for a free "sale" perhaps, some things readied for our new nest wherever that is, and the house is having its nooks and crannies cleaned.

And beside the boxes is the sweetest little,bassinet with more sweet little items piled inside.
And Lee's old wooden highchair is standing nearby.
All awaiting the arrival of the newest little Pilgrim.

So much change, so much new.

To all of His children I believe our Father sends things to make us cry out for Him.
He lets us feel the sensation of the Out Of Control.
A sense of powerlessness.
And we come to that place where we cry out.
In the crying and the tears comes the blessing of a feeling.
A feeling of being loved, of belonging.

Abba, You are.

~pilgrimama

what's on our table..

It's amazing how important food is in a home. At least our home.
 A well put together meal is a balm to the souls that gather round it. It says that there's energy in the house, love and caring, often stability and foresight.

As I come out of a season of doing less cooking than usual, I'm excited to remember recipes in my "to-make" "files".

Split pea and ham soup popped into in the crockpot before phys. ed. class? Awesome!

Tacos? The children were delighted!

Jess has become my resident cake maker as we have found ourselves with access to lots of free cake mix. I know, not that healthy, but it gives him a great feeling of independence and helpfulness and that makes it ok in my eyes. You know?

My mother has brought us some awesome cuts of meat and we've been enjoying that as well. Smoked ham and sausage? You bet!

As what little we've had of winter rolls out ever so slightly, it's a good time to get in the mood for fresh and healthy cooking.

What's been on your tables these days and what  in your to make file?

~pilgrimama

p.s. Happy March!!! 

letter to my sweetheart..

Dear Lee honey,
thanks for the rad pepper grinder you got us for the first time in our married life.Cole and Mason has got it down nicely on that gadget!

Also, thanks for the awesome Valentine's Day gifts of pillows,chocolates and the new Audrey Assad cd. Perfect picks!

Thank-you most of all for being so very patient and loving even when I am a Grouch. You are perfect for me.

I love you!

~pilgrimama

p.s. at the new house can i get a golden retriever? i will pay you in kiss currency.

an apology and some news in red..

dear whoever you are:)
sorry about the missed Feb. 14th post. I think it will be here soon....

So I just about burned my egg/feta cheese concoction that I had in the skillet. The reason the feta is in the scrambled eggs?
Well, I caught our cat with his head in the cheese container and no,I don't take cat saliva lightly.

today i went to the Wal-marts which i rarely do. and get this -my idea of doing something out of my routine was going there and using coupons i actually went to the effort of clipping out. i know-how unexciting. splurged and bought dryer sheets. my dryer was stinky. man,the front hall smells awesome!

i think i may be the happy co-owner of a camera again-it's been a while! that could put the excitement back in blogging...

Lee and the boys were on an excursion today so the girls and I hung out,went shopping, ate roast beef sandwiches off the dollar menu and bought a small box of popsicles which equals Special Treats in our house.

So I am packing and attempting to clean. I think we have about one more month in our gritty, urban neighborhood.

Yes, We Are Moving!
I would appreciate your prayers:)

love,
~pilgrimama

morning surprise

This morning I woke up to: a sink of dishes nicely washed for me.

A fruit crisp on my counter.

We have some mighty fine friends?

~pilgrimama

*stay tuned for February 14th-fun post coming up...

about Alex..

This morning this guy got up early.He's a quieter sort of person when it comes to letting his mama know what he's feeling.
So I remind myself to spend time with him and just listen.

This morning he told me that he had a little spot on his head that hurt and his eyes ached. Likely sinus stuff. I think it's going around.But the important thing is that in taking a minute to stop and stroke his hair and ask about him, he talked to me.
I want him to always talk to me.
So I need to spend the minute,the half hour,to listen.

I love YOU Alex!
~pilgrimama

a to-do list

On my list today:
#wrap some belated gifts
#write a blessing card for a new mama
#maybe clean out my kettle cupboard?
#do a load or two of laundry
#clean my room
*go to the chiropractor
***********************************************
Random fact: there is a lot of chocolate cake in our house right now.

******************************************

Weekend plans?
Visit friends and family?
Not sure.
What are yours?

Happy Love month!

~Pilgrimama

welcome love month

I just adore Love Month! All that color in the grayness that is February.

Hopefully this is the last year we will live where any red decorations I put up in our livingroom look like ketchup.(We have mustard colored livingroom walls in our rental.)

Our family is in one of those spaces where there are a lot of unknowns. I think the unknowns are about good things so that's ok.

***********************************************

gems from the mouths of my babes:

4 year old Squirrelgirl(as she sits at the dinnertable with a group of us and our friends.)

S. (pointing and loudly)  "A", You have a baby in your belly!

Poor "A" only has a bit of "leftover" from having 3 kids all in a row...
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Laundry- does it ever get done? The answer is not really.


To Love Month!
~pilgrimama

to see the new things, to touch the untouched

It's time. Time to pull out the new year and officially embrace it here on the blog. Maybe I'll actually blog a lot this year?

2012. It has a nice ring. And it's an even number.( For some reason I tend to feel more comfortable with even numbers.)
I'm sure there's a lot of speculating that can/could be done about this year. But I'm not going to go there. It doesn't feel necessary.

Here is what I know already about 2012 for our family. We as a family are together and loving it that way. I am grateful.

Some changes seem to be ahead. Good changes. But change can be a bit challenging for me to weather. So there's that.

I am very grateful for our church family. They keep surprising me. It's a wonderful thing to be loved like they love.

And last but not least I am aware of a real desire towards more prayer, renewal, growth in my walk as a follower of Christ.

I am hoping all of you are finding Treasure of the best kind and that this year you will be blessed in all the ways a wise Father sees good!

2012, I am ready to walk into you and see and touch and learn things I've never seen and known before.

Please lead,Father.

with love,
pilgrimama